Aim to speak with no more than five people. While you want to get a complete picture, you don’t want to overwhelm yourself with information or repetitive stories. Make sure that your list includes people from different aspects of the person’s life. For example, include a colleague who will be able to supply details about your loved one’s work history and personality as a coworker. Often younger people, such as grandchildren, will have special perspectives and stories of their own that may add a warm, human touch to the obituary.

Date and location of birth. Date and cause of death. Full names of parents and other close relatives who died before your loved one. Full names of spouses, children, and any other close survivors. Details about education. Did your loved one earn any diplomas or degrees? Where and in what year? Details about work. You don’t need to write a full resume of your loved one’s career, but make sure you have the general outlines about where he worked, what he did, and for how long. Any clubs or organizations that were important in your loved one’s life. For example, was she on a local sports team? Was he a Mason? Details of any special achievements. Did your loved on serve in the military, and was she decorated? Did your loved one win any prizes, or publish a book, or hold public office? You will need the correct names, titles, and years for any of these achievements. Details about funeral arrangements, including visiting hours and any requests about flowers or donations.

If possible, try meeting with more than one person at a time. A group setting might generate memories as well as being a nice opportunity for quietly remembering and honoring your loved one.

Be sure to ask permission before including someone else’s anecdote in your obituary. For example, you might say: “Aunt Louise, is it alright if I tell that story about catching the rainbow trout in Grandpa’s obituary?” If they say no, let it go. Look for anecdotes that reflect larger themes in your loved one’s life. For example, if your loved one was known for helping others, an anecdote about the time she stopped to change a stranger’s tire in a snowstorm might be appropriate.

If you can’t resolve a disagreement, consider omitting the information or putting it vaguely. For example, you might say: “She began working as a physician in the early 1970s” if one person says it was 1972 and another says it was 1971. You don’t want your obituary to become a source of tension at a difficult time.

It is not necessary to go into detail about the cause of death, but only to share what feels appropriate. For example, you could say that your loved one died after a long illness or died suddenly. [3] X Research source

You might proceed by writing a paragraph on each significant aspect of your loved one’s life, like the things that were important to them, their relatives, their work, and so on. [4] X Expert Source David I. JacobsonFuneral Home Director Expert Interview. 14 July 2020. Alternatively, you might choose to develop a narrative about your loved one. For example, if her crowning achievement was a position in national government, you might want to write several paragraphs describing how she earned the knowledge and experience necessary to get there.

For example, if your loved one adored jokes, you might include one or two of his most famous humorous quotes. The obituary of a beloved teacher might include a story from a former student about what it was like to be in her classroom.

For example, you might include a photograph of your loved one enjoying her favorite vacation destination or participating in his favorite hobby. A photograph of your loved one at work may also convey the importance of that aspect of her life.

Be sure to follow the formatting and submission guidelines for whatever venues you choose. Talk to the person designing and producing the funeral program about how to submit the text of the obituary as well as any images.

An obituary is a public call that someone has died. It may be easier for you and other loved ones to move on if others can acknowledge the person’s passing. [9] X Expert Source David I. JacobsonFuneral Home Director Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.