If you can’t write a hand-written letter, for some reason, then word-process it and print it out if at all possible. E-mails aren’t usually the best way to have serious, heart-felt communications, but it’ll also be fine in a pinch if it’s necessary. Just make sure your copyedit all e-mails and follow the rules of usage and grammar, as if you were writing for school.
What are your intentions for the letter? It’s also very important that your biggest goal is to express yourself, not to induce a certain outcome. For example, if you are writing a love letter, your goal is to express how much you care about this person. Your goal in writing this letter isn’t to start a relationship, so don’t write to them as if that’s your goal.
Formatting-wise, begin the letter by writing “Dear _____,” at the top of the letter, adding in their name or names. This works, regardless of your intentions in writing the letter, or if you’re writing for multiple reasons: “I heard about the passing of your mother, and I am so very sorry. "
If your feelings are an important subject in the letter, state them succinctly. If possible draw connections to your reader’s role in those feelings. Don’t assume you know your reader’s feelings. “I hope you feel. . . " is fine. So is “If you feel. . . " “I know you feel. . . " is not. Give them room to have their own feelings.
If you’re writing an apology, you can offer them your regret and willingness to listen. No matter why you are writing, make sure that your offer is sincere. It should be something you truly think they might need or like, otherwise it’ll come off as hollow. Think of this as a chance to extend yourself toward them. It’s up to them whether they want to grab your hand and talk, meet up, join you, accept help, forgive or whatever their reaction might be. This way, they know that you aren’t offering empty words, and they might feel more comfortable reaching out. While writing a condolence letter, express remorse for the person. Let the person who has suffered the loss know you are available and willing to support them. If a company or somebody in business is writing a condolence letter to a client, they should sympathize with them but not express much emotional vulnerability within the letter.
It’s good to use good words, but don’t get addicted to the thesaurus. Sometimes, saying that you were out for a “stroll” might be the most appropriate word, but most of the time calling it a “walk” will be a lot better.
There’s no right length for a letter. Go as long as the letter takes to express everything that you need to express.
If you’re written anything defensive or aggressive, take it out. Even if you are expressing anger, there shouldn’t be any aggression in the letter.
