Start your greeting or salutation at the top of the page with the words, “Dear [pen pal’s name]. ” Next, develop the body of the letter. This is where you’ll communicate at length with your pen pal. It can be 2 to 5 paragraphs. Finish with a closing. It usually consists of a final paragraph and a signatory phrase like “Sincerely,” followed by your signature.
Be specific. Don’t say that you like “film, crafts, and exercise. " Instead, say that you enjoy “Marvel movies, knitting and needlework, and riding your bike. " As you get to know your pen pal better, you ’ll get a sense for their interests and sense of humor. You’ll also feel more comfortable expressing yourself.
Do not share too much too soon, especially information that might give away your identity, like your full name and looks. If you don’t feel comfortable with a stranger knowing your address, rent a PO box.
For instance, if they mention that they do track and field, ask how fast they can run, if they’ve ever participated in a relay race, and what the furthest distance they’ve ever run is.
If your pen pal insists on certain boundaries, respect them. For instance, if they don’t want to talk about their sexuality or family life, don’t insist on it. Similarly, don’t feel obligated to talk about things you’re not comfortable with. Let your pen pal know of any topics which you don’t want to talk about.
For example, if you wrote about how excited you are for summer, you might ask, “How about you? Do you like swimming, too? Hope to hear from you soon!” At the very end, skip 2 lines, then write “Sincerely,” “Take it easy,” or “Until next time. ” Sign your name right under that.
International letters may require additional lines for the country. Ask your post office for help, if needed. Don’t forget to add postage. It’s a good idea to take your letter to the post office the first time you send it out so that you know which stamps you need to mail it. If your pen pal lives the US, use forever stamps, which will cover the postage regardless of any changes in price.
Many people are used to instantaneous communication, like texting and phones, and consider writing letters as a waste of time. However, one of the virtues of writing letters is that it does take time and thus requires (and instills) patience.
If your pen pal is not as committed as you are, keep looking. Don’t feel that you need to limit yourself to just one pen pal at a time. Similarly, if you can’t keep up with your pen pal, consider finding one who is more patient or willing to wait for your replies.
If writing to a pen pal in prison, ask if they can receive certain items before sending them. Each prison sets its own guidelines regarding what is and isn’t allowed. Decorate your letter. If you’re artistic, include little drawings or sketches to illustrate your text. Include stickers to add a personal touch.
If your pen pal has questions, answer them. If there are any questions you don’t want to answer, tell your pen pal directly. Ask for photos of your pen pal’s pets, collections, and art.
Reference major events in your life, like attending a movie, getting an award at school, or learning a new skill. Add some thoughts and insight so that you don’t sound like a reporter. For instance, instead of flatly stating, “I saw the new Captain America movie yesterday,” say, “I saw the new Captain America movie. I loved the characters, and the cinematography was the best in the series. You should check it out!”
Don’t let digital communication replace your letter-writing relationship. While modern forms of communication are great, they’re no substitute for the joy which letter-writing provides.
For instance, if you’re interested in learning German, you should connect with a pen pal from Germany, Austria, or a German speaker in another country. If you’re interested in learning more about Japan, you should identify pen pals in Japan who can share their insights into Japanese society.
Find pen pals who you think are interesting and can connect with. For instance, if you’re a 17-year-old punk rocker, you’ll be unlikely to connect with a 45-year-old businessman. There are pen pal clubs that cater to specific groups, such as just college students or just teen girls. This can help you find a pen pal easier. Don’t be afraid to write with someone different than you. For example, instead of finding another 17-year-old punk rocker, you could find a 16-year-old ballet dancer. [5] X Research source
Some services require fees while others are free. Both can provide good pen pals, but check before you get too excited about the sign-up process.
